Broken Triangle
by Dark Metal Queen
Summary: "You're right, Peaches. Hope is for suckers." Josh returns to his brother's apartment for the winter holidays becoming distressed at how Maya and Riley's friendship has unraveled. With Evan and Farkle's assistance, Josh is determined to resolve this triangle for the girls' sake. However can their romances be saved, or will hearts break along with the love triangle?
1. Chapter 1

**Part 1: Maya & Josh**

**Author's Note: **So the inspiration for this fanfic came from Floor Jansen's song 'Sweet Curse' and _Death Cab for Cutie's_ song 'Cath…' However, it wasn't until I re-read _the Sweet Hereafter _by Russell Banks — and _the_ _Tenant of Wildfell Hall_ by Anne Bronte — that I knew how I need to tell this story. This is why this story is told in multiple, first-person peripheral pov. What made Farkle and Josh ideal narrators was that they treated the girls as equals and had nothing to gain by choosing — or not choosing — a Lucas pairing. Evan was irresistible because he was Lauren's son, and being a stranger to the group offers a new perspective on the love triangle.

Second, this fandom was infamous for its shipping wars (_iCarly _and _Avatar: the Last Airbender _had this one beat in terms of viciousness) so I'm asking my readers that if you have any negative comments, do not base them off your shipping biases. Saying my story is terrible because you ship Rucas, Lucaya, Larkle, etc doesn't not help me as a writer. (Neither does only saying "Good/Great story" or the like. Please be specific — not necessarily lengthy — on praise and/or criticism.) That is not what creative, constructive criticism is. Civility does not end once a person enters cyberspace.

The things to write in the comments section are limitless, but here are some examples of comments/questions one could write:

1\. Which scene was your favorite in [title of fic]? Which was your least?

2\. Who was your favorite character in [title]? Which character(s)did you hate if any?

3\. What as the reader, was your favorite descriptive line or line of dialogue?

* * *

Mom said I was born lucky, that being born on Valentine's Day and surviving my birth proved it. I'm a guy with too many beanies and an overflowing Rock collection. I was fortunate to enter college early, and studied constantly for that opportunity; it was not luck I managed that. How was I lucky when I couldn't rebel growing up when Mom and Dad witnessed all my siblings tricks? How was I lucky when their accomplishments meant more since they completed them first? It's not that I'm unlucky, but why should I believe in luck?

And my car stalling on New Years Eve was not luck; it was stuck wading in ice as I shivered with my broken heater. Holidays in New York are nice, but it's nothing without the family. When I arrived at the apartment confetti was littered everywhere, glittered streamers hung limply from the ceiling, and topcoats were thrown on top of the furniture. College parties are intense, but these teenagers definitely rivaled how wild we can become. I didn't get a chance to get comfortable; Topanga grabbed my backpack and told me to bring Riley and Maya down from the rooftop. Most parties end in drunken mistakes with cops called, what ends an eighth-grade party in disaster?

On the rooftop, decorative lights glowed with city lights. Phantom-like music played in the background mingling with shouting city drunks several stories below. Snow drifted down, the ice crunched beneath my feet whispering secrets recently revealed. The cold bit through my gloves and had turned my breath white. Around the corner, I heard raspy whispers and cleared throats. Brunette and blonde hair tangled together in the breeze. Maya tapped her boots the sound echoing across the roof, Riley kept her head bowed and ran her fingers through her hair. Both girls sat frozen, anxious on the bench, each waited for the other to break the silence.

"You lied to me, your said Lucas was your brother," Maya said.

"What kind of friend takes things at face value? What does that tell me about you?" Riley said.

Maya pushed herself off the bench throwing her arms down at her sides.

"I'm not a goddamn mind reader, Riley!"

Riley tilted her head to the side. "You did a good job when yearbooks came out. You even fooled yourself."

"That's what I thought when I was you."

"If I wore a blonde wig and your clothes, does that make me you?"

"No."

"Then why was it okay for you to do it?"

She sighed. "You and Lucas couldn't date a week. Real couples do more than talk."

"Maybe if you and our class didn't interrupt us, Lucas and I would've dated longer."

I've known these girls for years. Mom, Dad, and I were there when Riley was born. Cory and Topanga brought Maya along when they visited Philadelphia with both girls linked arm and arm. What was breaking their friendship now? Riley's not known for resentment and she never mentioned any problems during our video chats. Maya's stubborn, abrasive, but she never intentionally harmed her friends, in fact, she was the one to protect them. Years ago at the park, Maya tackled a boy twice her size because he shoved Riley down — and she was six!

Maya joined Riley back on the bench resting her head on her shoulder.

"Think we can fix this, Riles?"

"I don't know but you're right Peaches. Hope is for suckers."

I don't need to see their faces to know Maya's mouth gaped open, it matched mine. In a little less than a month, Riley had lost her hope and in less time Maya had lost herself.

Back in the apartment, Cory explained in more detail about what happened while I was gone. Last month, Riley and her friends traveled for some Texas bull riding competition. After Lucas rode the bull, she found out Maya had fallen for Lucas while they were dating but kept it a secret. Riley "stepped back" ending things with Lucas before confiding to Topanga that she regretted her decision. Maya dated Lucas less than a day later and it was yesterday she discovered that Lucas almost kissed Maya. For a month the girls drifted apart, finding excuses to avoid each other outside of school. Tonight Farkle Minkus blurted Riley's secret at midnight, "Riley still loves Lucas" during the entire party. Ultimately, tonight was the storm pouring down with thunder and lightening pitted against each other.

"How can we help them? We can't let this continue."

"—- Boing!"

The door slammed open. Maya stood in the doorway for a second. Sprinting toward me was a blur of blonde in an orange dress flowing behind her. She tossed her coat on the sofa never breaking her run. Fists balled with teeth bared in a smile, Maya easily swerved around the coffee table. I wanted to move away from the counter, but everything about Maya demanded attention. No one was here; it was Maya hurdling toward me. Her boots skidded and screeched against the wooden floor. She outstretched her arms, laughing.

Maya crashed into me toppling me over the counter. She clasped her arms around my back digging her fingers into my sides. She nestled her head in my chest, eyes squeezed tight as if making a wish. How'd this tiny girl grow stronger over the summer? Her voice was muffled but I heard her say, _"Now its a happy New Year." _I patted her back and told her it was great to see her, too. Behind her I heard Riley perch herself on the counter stool beside me.

I gasped, squeezing my voice out in short breaths. "Maya, I can't give you and Riley presents if I can't breathe."

At this, Maya let go of me and bounced in the seat she took next to Riley. Both were jittery when I handed them their gifts I had stowed in my backpack. Looking back, I should have given them their gifts when they were alone. At first, all was fine when they opened their gifts. Riley unwrapped her present folding the red paper and ribbons into neat piles, took time to read the card too. Maya tore at the paper, ripping cardboard corners, and ignored her card that I added with the gift.

Maya pulled out the charm, tilting her head and holding the trinket like a pendulum. She squinted and counted the tiny coloured dots along the edges —- at fourteen Maya had that wonder she did when she was eight. It's rare to see this side of her.

I still have that painting she gave me for my birthday and I spent most of this year thinking of something I could give her in return. One day when I passed a thrift shop, I saw this charm in the window, knowing it was the best gift I could give Maya for now. Riley flipped through the photography book filled with colourful pictures and the photographers that captured them. In seconds she repeated the same thing with the portfolio next to it. It'd taken a month saving my work-study check to afford the engraving of Riley's name on the portfolio. I'm not sure which is more heartbreaking: Riley crying happiness or sorrowful tears. I wrapped an arm around my niece and Topanga brought tissues for her.

"Why'd you give me these books?" Riley said.

"I figured seeing some of the greatest photographers would inspire you," I said. "And you'll need a place for all your pictures,"

She hugged me the same way Maya did. "Thanks, Uncle Josh."

Maya reached for the book and skimmed through it they way Riley had. Without a change in her voice or a glance from the book, she smiled. I hoped their fight earlier was forgotten by now.

"Since when do selfies count as photography?" Maya said

I massaged my temples wondering if she thinks before speaking? How helpful does she think her comments are? I reached behind me grabbing my wallet from my back pocket. I sorted through ID's, cash, and cards fumbling through receipts for the pictures I was looking for. Finally, buried in a small pocket were copies of Riley's pictures. I stretched over Riley and handed Maya the photos.

The first photo was the New York skyline as it blended from violet to black. Flashes from buildings shone from below. In the second photo, Riley captured a moment of Shawn and Angela kissing under the red autumn light. Looking at the photo's warmth you imagined the sweet scent of bakery cookies, coffee, and cider. Dried brown and yellow leaves spiraled around them in the wind. Riley has always been perceptive, the fact she captured this frozen scene with a camera hadn't surprised me. So why keep her talent a secret? Looking awestruck, Maya stared at the photo turning it over and over again in her hands.

Maya starred in the last photo. Sunlight shone over her as she hovered over her sketchbook sitting on her apartment steps. Her tongue poked out of her mouth as she scribbled out her drawing, not caring as the wind blew blonde strands in her eyes. Scrawled on the back of the photo were the words, "…You turn gold." You could even see the bold black lines that Maya had on her page. Most people are pleased when they're photographed —- Maya took every opportunity to appear in pictures and this was the best picture of her —- but all Maya did was scowl.

"So what else don't I know," Maya said.

During this time Riley picked imaginary lint off her dress, kicked the counter behind her, humming a tune which cracked at the high notes.

"Wouldn't you tell me I was terrible at it like the other things I've tried? Or would you take this too?"

Maya crossed her arms and pouted. "I'm not allowed to have nice things?"

"You're not allowed to take things from others because you're jealous."

They hopped from their seats pacing about; the cold they'd left outside entered the living room freezing the anger in the girls' eyes. Occasionally she muttered to herself, at other times she curled her fingers and dug them into her palms. That same ice in Maya's tone was also in Riley's. I didn't know who was angrier: both blonde and brunette rage bubbled to the surface. Resentment like theirs doesn't form in a month or a year, this resentment formed over time. Lucas, this party, only forced their anger out.

Five minutes could have passed, maybe ten, but we all sucked in our breaths. I twisted my cuffs in my hands, cracked my knuckles. Topanga made deals with devils all the time, but when Auggie shouted "Mom!" Topanga immediately rushed to his aid. I heard Cory's teeth chatter and him drumming his fingers on the counter when Riley stood from her seat waiting to face Maya. Riley's face drained to white; Maya's face burned red. Much time had passed since this night, I don't remember what was done next, or what provoking words Maya said. I do remember I barged into the space between them when both girls froze in place.

"I need a break from you, Maya." Riley's speech was slow, calculated. Knowing her for years I know she's perfected her numb, exhausted voice. She used this voice when stopped lying that she was fine. "I want to be selfish once."

Unfortunately, Maya wasn't one to back down; she left conflicts when she was sure the other person was defeated. On the off-chance winning was impossible, Maya abandoned the situation entirely.

"If I'm a bad friend then why are we friends?" Maya replied.

I placed my hands on their shoulders. "Neither of you mean that, right?"

Maya brushed off my hand and without another word stormed out of the apartment; Riley followed her lead in the opposite direction slamming her bedroom door behind her.

* * *

A week before I returned to school, Riley and Maya apologized or I should say Riley apologized and Maya accepted. Separately, they pulled me aside and promised me a photograph or painting. Auggie even said he'd update me when conflict arose between the girls. I doubted either would volunteer to tell me the whole truth if they were willing to keep secrets from each other. Auggie's willingness to help me had been a relief.

Mini-arguments popped up occasionally, but things were peaceful in Matthews and Hart's worlds. However, those arguments involved Maya and Riley icing each other out than calling me to complain about the other. Neither relented or admitted their mistakes that divided their group. Those days I felt more drained after each conversation suffering the rest of the night with a migraine. During these times Zay sided with Maya while Smackle aligned with Riley. Farkle refused on principle and as for Lucas, he was the rope in Maya and Riley's war being constantly tugged back and forth. Eventually, they forgave each other, acting like their argument hadn't happened before their cycle repeated again.

Who was more sympathetic? Did anyone deserve blame? How could any person allow themselves to splinter a friendship? Could any of them — Lucas, Maya, or Riley — live with the guilt of their friendship ending?

Sure, Maya shouldn't have chased after Lucas, however, Riley shouldn't have kept so many secrets. I don't know much about Lucas' role in this arrangement, but shouldn't he have decided by now? Yet all three paid a high cost when Lucas decided on one of them.

Without Riley, Maya lost her second family and the security she has with us. Who would Maya go to when she can't confide in her mom? She had lost Shawn as a father-figure as she had with her real, dad but without Riley, Maya would physically lose Shawn too. Plus it's Riley that convinced Maya to return a stolen locket. It was Riley that gives Maya boundaries and constantly pulled Maya in line. Not many people Maya hope, what's Maya's gain if in winning Lucas caused her to lose herself and her best friend?

Without Maya, Riley's price is equally high. Maya encouraged Riley to rebel and taught her realism over escapism. Before Maya, Riley had never snuck out or broke rules. On top of all that Maya was Riley's first friend that actually stayed. Riley cried after kindergarten because no one plays games with her; Maya was Riley's first friend that stayed. But Lucas can't replace a friend despite how devoted he is to her.

Things were more confusing when Auggie had sent me copies of Maya's sketchbook.

Swirls and flowers bordered the left side, fires and cinders were scattered throughout the rest of the page without a pattern. Falling stars collected in one corner and a misshapen moon in another. "Lucas" and "Huckleberry" were everywhere with Lucas in the center colored in black. He wore a studded cowboy hat with Maya next to him wearing a flower crown. Sketched Lucas hugged Maya by her waist and weaved his fingers in her hair. Ribbons circled around them, written in one ribbon was:

_Princess Maya & Prince Lucas_

Hearts lined the right page, a repeating pattern of hearts and stars. Near the bottom, a pair of skeletons held hands with a shared gravestone behind them. Words like "adventure", "wanderers" were written in random places. Sploshes of blues and greens depicted the world; tinier shapes were supposed to be specific countries. Standing atop the world was another couple. Maya stood on her toes, her hair blew backward in her hand-drawn wind. Paper Maya clasped the person's hands in front of her as she pulled herself up to kiss his lips. I followed the charcoal lines as the curved and connected to the boy she was kissing.

Around the world Maya had written:

_"Mrs & Mr. Matthews forever."_

A few thoughts entered my mind at this point. Am I as tall as Maya thinks I am? Second, Riley and Maya would be unstoppable if they trusted each other again. Third, how could Maya love two people, or three if you included Riley? If Maya felt that she and Riley were sisters, why pursue Lucas anyway?

I needed help. I can't confront Riley nor Maya, they'd deny everything if I confronted them with what I knew. After I struck out with that recruiter, I doubt I could rely on her and my roommate hadn't dealt with love triangle either. I wouldn't tell who I asked everything but someone must know what girls feel when they're stuck in triangles. Weeks later I found someone, my friend Charlotte, who met Maya and Riley when they crashed our party. Perhaps Charlotte could give me some insight. Junk food fell from my arms as I returned to our study session. There wasn't any way I'd pass Algebra without Charlotte's help and today was as good as time as any to ask for her advice. She breezed through her homework and groaned when I couldn't get passed the third equation. Just to forget this work, I decided to ask Charlotte my question.

"Charlotte, why do girls fight over guys?"

She smiled. "Is someone giving you competition for Maya?"

I chuckled. "I'm not worth fighting over. What kind of guy would be?"

Curious, Charlotte wanted to know what was going on with me, as soon as I told her my family's problem, she warned me that I'd make myself sick by worrying the way I am.

"You don't have fix everyone's problems, Josh."

"How can I help my friends and family if I don't get involved?"

Charlotte pushed her textbooks away from her and tilted her head back.

"Some girls steal boyfriends to hurt each other," Charlotte said. "Others do so for power and others just because they can."

"Riley and Maya wouldn't do that."

"How do you know? Most girls would rather protect their friend with a lie than lose them with the truth."

"Either way you lose. Is it worth it?"

"You'll have to ask Riley and Maya that."

* * *

May arrived and I received my invitation to Riley's graduation ceremony. Alongside the students, Cory graduated from junior high to a high school teacher and compared to New Years' the party ran smoothly, as far as I know, no one's love was declared across the rooftop. Drinks were handed to the adult with colas given to the teens, the gossip was a free buffet everyone ate up. For now, no arguments broke out, but I wandered the living room listening for fighting words.

Luckily, I didn't need to worry about that with the talk of high school excitement. _"I can't wait 'til I get my license", "Don't forget the cooler, older parties", "What about high school graduation?"_ others said. I saw Lucas leaning against the wall and I'm not surprised why girls would fall for him. This was the guy that girls folded themselves into different shapes for a look from him; the soccer captain would become a model for a date with him. Other girls would blow off their friends for a phone call with him. Guys would beg for the favors and girls he'd introduce them to whether it was concerts, games, or grades. Anyone else would avoid someone like Lucas because it wouldn't be worth the confrontation. Oddly enough, Lucas' friends didn't fear him, though they hissed when he jokingly punched their arms. But if this kid ended a friendship with his indecision or broke hearts when he did choose, he'd pay hell for it. He shouldn't be allowed the chance to break my niece's heart or Maya's heart.

Speaking of them, the girls acted like the sisters that they claimed to be, laughing at jokes or greeting guests. Maya bragged about a photograph that Riley took to my parents, Riley did the same about Maya's painting to Katy. Apparently, they decided to team up for a project combining both their skills for a better piece. They even assured each other that nothing would change between them in high school. For now, I forgot about being the hero.

After the party, I stashed the dishes into the sink, pulled down the lights and streamers stowing them away in the closet for the next gathering. When the party high wore down, Cory and I slouched on the couch worrying about high school problems. How would Cory ignore the rumors about the latest hangover? How would he handle failing an older student in his class? My worries were different. If Riley and Maya are already fighting over boyfriends, imagine how much worse it'd get if cheating was involved.

In the background, I heard the source of Cory's concern speaking in rushed whispers. "You still like him?" they'd ask each other than both replied with emotionless, "Yeahs."

"Okay, then I'll check again tomorrow," Maya said, finishing their conversation.

_"I'll check again tomorrow?" _

Maya had always been decisive, is she hoping that Riley doesn't love Lucas? Is Maya so blinded to Riley's feelings that she seriously wants to hurt Riley? And how could Riley be resigned to this? How could Lucas become so dumbfounded about what to do? I'd think any decision would be better than keeping this triangle frozen in time. Later, Riley told me Lucas visited them, saying he wouldn't decide to save the trio's friendship. She revealed to me that she still wanted Lucas. She wanted Lucas to fight for her.

It's always been him.

"But if he loved me wouldn't Lucas end the triangle?" Riley said as she leaned against me resting her head on my shoulder. "If he didn't love me, I wish he'd tell me he's done with me. Then I could move on, maybe I could forget about him."

"Do you want to forget him?"

Riles shook her head the added that she didn't know what to do. Does she choose Maya or Lucas? Does she fight for the boy she loved or the girl she loved?

I wanted to fight Lucas.

I wanted to curse him.

I could have punched him, kicked him, done everything to ruin that prince charming face people were willing to fall in love with. But Cory's stories about him made me believe that if I found his home, Lucas could send me to the emergency room. Plus threatening the kid would break Riley's heart more. I also needed Maya's side of the story. The Spring smell of gasoline, trash, and fast food grease drifted in the air. Screaming horns deafened me and hiding somewhere behind the city was the moon waiting to shine. On the bench outside the apartment, Maya sat on her hands and swinging her feet in circles. I stuffed my hands in my jacket and took a seat next to her, unsure that I would like what I'd hear.

You okay little ferret?" I said.

"I should be happy, Boing, Lucas is gonna pick, Riley." Maya kept her head bowed and muttered, "Like I had a chance."

"Is he who you want?"

She shrugged, staring ahead as if she weighed her options in her head. I counted all the windows and street lights I could as I waited for her answer. None came.

The breath I took choked in my throat and poisoned my lungs. I felt the questions I wanted answers to begin leaving my mind and new ones taking their place. Why am I doing this? I'm three years older than her, but do I like her more than as a friend? Unlike Riley, I know I can't pretend I see Maya as a sister. And why would Maya put herself through this pain? From her sketches and what little I've seen of Lucas, perhaps Maya wanted the power Lucas could give her. She's not the same girl who begged me for ice cream back in Philly, she could have changed more than I thought she had. For months I scratched at my head for answers, why can't I ask Maya now?

I shifted around, drumming random notes on the wood

"Help me understand something, Maya," I said keeping each word slow and low. "I know why Riley loves Lucas but what makes Lucas special to you."

She turned to face me, holding her hands open trying to physically give me an explanation.

"He's Ranger Rick and Lieutenant Dan, and fun shout har-hurr at." I felt my eyebrows raise when she had told me that, but if she could keep her humour it wasn't all lost. "What's wrong with liking a Huckleberry or wanting a boyfriend?"

"What I meant was, what's special about Lucas that you're willing to risk losing Riley for? What can he give you that she can't?"

Her blue eyes squinted at the ground, her lip jutted out in a pout before she bit at her lip. She mumbled and clawed at the wood, perhaps searching for the right words to say. I expected some sarcastic reply, but after fourteen years Maya was finally stumped for an answer.

"...Nothing, I guess," she said.

I grabbed her hand in mine.

"I'm not saying you're wrong for liking Lucas, I just don't want to see hurting because was this triangle. I don't want you to regret what happens when it ends."

"Can't you tell what to do?"

I shook my head, stood up, and offered her my hand for her to do the same.

"What I can say is that Lucas isn't the only one with a choice. You can choose yourself or Riley, you could even choose Ranger Rick." I got a chuckle from Maya when I called Lucas by her nickname for Lucas. I admit it felt odd to call him that too. "You'll have people who will support you no matter what you decide to do."


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2: Riley & Evan**

_"__It's a burden for wrong reasons _

_But I keep hold of this pain _

_No more tears but common sorrow _

_Yet it wears of day by day _

_Letting go; I never could but I surely need to heal _

_Sweet curse, my hell _

_You bare our memories like staining scars within your mind _

_You lose all that you knew of me, gone deep inside _

_Lost love, my hell__"_

—_ 'Sweet Curse', Revamp (Floor Jansen)_

* * *

October was a horrible month for a field trip. The lodge was usually filled with screaming kids who couldn't trick-o-treat, or filled with tourists solely here for bragging photos. _"See, I can make it a weekend away from the city," _then in the next breath they'd ask when they could leave. Since my parents' divorce, I was often left to man the front desk since Mom bought the lodge or be the luggage mule when the place overcrowded. But I wouldn't get my allowance if I spent these mornings reading bibles and over fifty film magazines. I'd risk another grounding if I left to go hiking again.

This October weekend proved me wrong. This weekend was exciting.

A statuesque, red-dressed girl limped through the front doors with one arm draped over a shorter, braided blonde girl, and the other arm over a denim cowboy's shoulder. The center girl hopped and hobbled over to the window nook

"Riley, how did you fall off the bus?" a braided, blonde girl said.

"Who does that?!" the other guy said. The combined weight of girls and heavy luggage toppled him over one side and he let the shorter girl take the lead.

Stumbling behind the trio, a man — probably her dad — grimaced claiming that nobody else would do that. The woman next to him nodded in my direction saying that "Lauren hasn't aged well." Strange, I wonder what Mom has to do with these people.

Anyway, I know exactly how this Riley girl tumbled off the bus, I had a front row seat of the accident from here and it wasn't her fault.

In a film, upbeat pop music would welcome the bus as it skidded to a stop spraying pebbles across the parking lot. The busload of teens split themselves into separate hordes throwing out their bags for the driver and adults to catch them. Some leaped down the steps while others took their time leaving it. It was the last six that grabbed my attention. Leading the way was a dark-skinned guy cracking jokes to the nerd couple behind him. In the center was the blonde kid built like a brick house and stomping down the bus steps. Following him, the blonde girl ran past her class, pushed others out of the way, and laughing at the first person's joke. All of them managed to hop or step over the duffel bag blocking the bus door.

The last girl off the bus wasn't lucky.

The driver crooked his fingers at her impatiently waving his hand to her to hurry up. So she picked up her speed, skipping to the front, and flashed the driver a smile. Riley skipped down the first step managing to successful jump to the middle step. She kept this up for the third and fourth steps until she hopped down onto the last step. Maybe she had forgotten there was a fifth step. Maybe she couldn't see the discarded bag in her path. Whatever the reason, her foot fell through the air and she stumbled past the step. Riley stumbled over the bag, screaming and waving her hand in front of her to catch her fall. Pebbles and dirt scraped into her hands. At the sound of her voice, her best friend and shared boyfriend rushed to her aid.

I wondered what made this girl so special that lured others to her. What made this girl so kind, even to strangers? And why did she and her friends keep muttering that their triangle needed to die? After all, there had to be a reason why these people arrived here because nothing happens by chance.

* * *

For the rest of the day, their class hurried in and out of the lodge with Riley's friends among them. How Riley was able to convince her friends she'd be fine alone, I don't know so I spent the afternoon finding different ways to entertain her. If I'm going to take over this place when Mom's gone, I needed practice in keeping visitors happy. I acted out the characters from the book she brought with her in terrible accents. She told me her favourite ballet was _Swan Lake_ ever since her dad took her to see it as a child. Later Riley lent me her camera so I could take some forest photos for her; I was glad for it since I could avoid ' glares aimed at me.

That evening her Uncle Josh brought in their movie night films. During Maya's action movie, Lucas stretched his arm wrapping it in the air around her shoulder. At his attempts, she swatted Lucas' arm away, then he settled for patting her on the back instead. Throughout Riley's romance film Lucas managed to hold her hand a pulled her into a side hug. This guy couldn't win; by making one girl happy, the other girl glared at him. Once the film ended, he had shrunk into himself, hunching over to avoid sideways stares from his "girlfriends." This guy was a coward, especially when I overheard that he'd taken two years to decide on a girlfriend. Then again, what kind of friends argued which girl is the better girlfriend? You'd think the other three friends would be neutral.

Four hours of film later and I never want to see another James Bond or Jane Austen film again. Once everyone headed for bed I could finally be alone and have the stars to myself. It didn't take long to vacuum the popcorn or mop up the split drinks, and it would take less time for the hot chocolate to finish heating. Only Riley hadn't gone upstairs when I finished my chores. Riley sat on the nook gazing at the stars that reflected the sadness in her eyes. If I could I'd catch those falling stars, diving to the ground for them, no one deserves to be lonely. No one, not someone beautiful like Riley.

I brought her a mug of hot cocoa to share, then pointed out constellations to her. "You can make some up if you need to" she told me. She bounced in her seat when we saw a shooting star and Sagittarius yet any time I asked her personal questions, Riley changed the subject to me. "So what Lauren like now? What about your dad?" or "What was my favourite skateboarding tricks?" This continued after we downed our drinks and I bought her a refill. She shrunk into herself, blinked so much, willing herself not to cry and wiped away the tears that fell with her hands. Despite that, as I approached her again, Riley managed to greet me with a smile. Sliding on the seat next to her, I wondered how she did that and why she carried the heavy memories and burdening pain on top of her.

"I've been watching you. Why aren't you this funny and cheerful when you're with your friends?"

I took a sip from my mug and returned her smile. Mom always taught me to be direct whenever it came to people. So Riley would talk, I promised her I'd share a secret of my own for her story.

Last year Lucas was Riley's boyfriend until her group visited Texas for a contest, when she found out her best friend, Maya, liked him too. When they flew back to New York Maya dated Lucas for a month unaware Riley had lied that she saw Lucas as a brother. A month later Riley hosted a New Year party and at exactly midnight a friend, Farkle, blabbed that Riley "still loves Lucas." Since then the trio's been trapped in a love triangle. _"It was my fault. I shouldn't have told Maya that Lucas was my brother. I should've listened to him when he said that I could never be his sister." _she'd say and kick the floor or mutter into her drink. By graduation, Lucas hadn't chosen between her and Maya yet continuing on when they started high school. At times she used the Internet to coax an answer from him with no success. And a few weeks before she confronted Maya about why she loved Lucas, not getting an answer except that Lucas was a "nice guy", and what was wrong with both wanting a nice guy? _"It probably would've been better if I let Maya be happy and take Lucas," _Riley added. Eventually, she told me that she hoped by coming to the lodge they could end their triangle.

"You don't seem happy about it," I said.

"It doesn't matter how much I fight for Lucas. Why would a guy want a hurricane girl when he could have fire?" Riley fidgeted in her seat sinking down lower and lower into the pillows. Her gaze shifted from the floor, her mug, and to the sky, anywhere except me. "Of course he'll choose Maya. Everyone else does."

Silence stretched on. The stillness of the night with the quietness in here had begun to sing its song of brokenness. Our mugs clinked together as we sat them down on the table. Earlier, Riley was this clumsy, funny girl and now she's become the girl that doesn't believe she deserved better. I can't speak about how Lucas struggled since I've never been the centerpiece of a love triangle. Neither can I speak for Maya or Riley and how they shared this problem. Outside of the lodge, in school, I'm a loner without friends, what do I know about this trio and their love triangle? Even so, is anything or anyone worth sacrificing your own well-being? Are they worth tossing away an eleven year friendship with your best friend?

"Let's say you get what you want and Lucas picks you? Could you really be happy with him?" I said. I rolled my mug between my hands. I tapped my foot in a random beat stealing glances at her while I waited for her to answer my question. "I mean, what's the point of all of this if you lose Maya too?"

Riley shrugged and played with the blanket that wrapped around her.

"It's been two years. I have to at least know who Lucas chooses."

"From what you've told me, you've been miserable the entire time. Would knowing his decision change that?"

"I don't know."

"Just tell me this. Don't you think you deserve to be happy?"

She looked at me, her eyes watering, her voice cracked and lips quivered. I saw her try to swallow the lump in her throat. What does this Lucas get by choosing to broken girls? Ones that he caused to break.

"I don't know that either."

"Then maybe you should take more time to find out," I said. "I know you think it's your fault, but Maya and Lucas aren't the only one with choices. You can make your own decisions, too. Right?"

"And if they get upset? You don't know how Lucas can get? Or how Maya gets."

"Well, maybe by the end of this trip you'll find someone - er, something, that makes you happier. You could put yourself first. I think that's the least you deserve for now."

Her triangle problems didn't resurface again and I never bothered asking either. By morning I told her my secret, that I want to become a Sherpa — although becoming a film director would be my second choice if the first didn't turn out. (I didn't think that she'd be so against it though, or that her uncle would be, too, when he found out.) Still, there's something about Riley. Was it how the sun glowed and turned into a halo shining over her? Was it how she ranted about basketball and photography? Or maybe I'm just smiling because of how she jumped up when she realized we'd spent the whole night talking?

"It's morning?!"

Mr and Mrs. Matthews popped up from behind the counter at that, telling us that nothing helped his awkward situation. They're right. Mom would say the same thing. Hmm, maybe I am turning into a mama's boy like my brother

Footsteps of the class echoed atop the steps, people being shoved and leaning over the railing to see the gossip beginning this morning. Squinting with lowered eyebrows, Lucas pointed at us, unsure whether to glare at me or Riley. Beside him, Maya smirked and sang that Riley wore the same clothes from yesterday, "While we're wearing the same clothes." I laughed as I followed Riley as she hobbled over to her friends. However, were jokes appropriate when Friar looked like he wanted to charge us like a bull?

He stampeded down the stairs and created a standoff between himself, Riley, and me. He interrogated us over what happened last night, accusing us of _something _sinister and inappropriate. Did he believe that I was trying to steal Riley from him? Riley jigged in a circle around Maya, her cast thudded onto to the floor as she did so. By this point, any belief I had that Lucas should be with either girl diminished; secure guys wouldn't be threatened by an all night conversation.

Her arms fell to her sides as she eyed him, meeting his verbal accusations with and with one of her own. "Lucas, I not allowed to talk to anyone?"

"Sure you are Riley. You can talk to whoever you want."

He stormed away into the next room. Riley tip-toed over to Maya and asked her to talk to Lucas for her. When she left too, I walked up to Riley clasping my hands in front of my chest — she should know I hadn't meant to cause her harm among her friends — and apologized to her. Unfortunately, she must be very popular since the second half of her class gathered above us. How much gossip can they feed on before breakfast?

* * *

Maya's conversation with Lucas was brief as with his conversation with Josh, and neither lasted more than five minutes. Both pointed out that Lucas' jealousy made him seem insecure and unable to see that Riley was innocent. I doubt he believed them because when I brought out the _Couple's Game,_ Lucas shouted that he didn't like me knowing anything about Riley. Reluctantly, they all joined me in our game.

I shuffled and spread the cards on the coffee table before us. Zay and Lucas squeezed me between them, he pressed himself against me I had a red mark on my arm the rest of the day. How am I a threat to him, didn't he place himself in this situation? Behind us their friends — Smackle and Farkle — sat in front of the fireplace. The crossed their legs, Smackle played with her glasses, but mainly kept calm as if they knew what I'd ask. Across from us sat Riley and Maya as they swayed forward, cracked their knuckles pumping themselves up for the first question. Standing in the corner Cory said that the right answer was the eagle. No wonder Mom only had one date with him.

I pulled the card from the middle of the deck, in small typed words I read:

"What's the most important thing in a relationship?"

According to Maya is was an adventure and breaking the rules along the way. Lucas glared at her, reminding her that broken rules didn't equal a good time and that he had lost a year of his life from rebelling. Maya went mute after that not bothering with another reply while Riley piped up, smiling as she said that romance was the most important aspect of a relationship. Farkle had the correct answer in that communication and conversation was what a successful relationship needed. But our game ended when Lucas said he wanted to punch a tree, and Zay followed that he needed to "save a tree" from Lucas' wrath. Maya dragged Josh away by the hand leaving the rest of us with nothing to do.

Later I found out from Riley that Maya loved Josh, not Lucas, that any affection she had for Lucas was a fling at best. During their shared conversation Maya added that she never wanted to hurt Riley, that protecting her was her goal in beginning the triangle. "How do I know if he's good enough for you?" and "How do I know Lucas wouldn't hurt you?" were some of the reasons she had given Riley. I don't understand the logic, plus I've known these guys for two days, but I guess it makes sense. They then apologized Maya for dating Lucas and Riley for pushing Maya into their mess.

I wasn't ready for Monday afternoon when the New York group boarded their bus for home. Looking back I doubt Lucas predicted what happened that afternoon either, which I found out from Riley's letter a week later. On that day Maya waved Lucas over to the fireplace joking that he'd go crazy over in front of the fire. A few jokes their game grew into an awkward silence where Maya kept glancing at Riley and Lucas coughed constantly to break it.

"Maya, I don't want to hurt—"

"I need to speak first, Lucas." Maya said. She used the poker to play with the flames taking her time before she focused on Lucas again. "You're a nice guy Huckleberry and I know you could never hurt me…"

"But?"

"I don't want to date you. I want a guy who doesn't make me fight with my best friend. I want someone who wants me, not who I am when I pretend to be a different girl."

"But I didn't—"

"Tell Riley you love her, it'll make me happy."

She left Lucas there brushing past him for Josh and afterward to finish packing. From what Riley said, Lucas stayed there scratching his head on how he struck out without uttering a word. But while I didn't see Maya dumping Lucas, I witnessed his moment with Riley as did the lodgers passing by. No one missed Riley curled up on the nook and spinning a fire orange leaf in her hands. Outside her window, a storm of leaves whipped past her. Unlike when Riley tumbled off the bus, she looked smaller, not the towering girl I've known these two days. In the kitchen, I overheard someone taking bets on the outcome of Lucas' choice. Above me, Lucas peered over the railing as if he played _Where's Waldo: Riley edition_ in his head. Bounding down the staircase, he strode up to Riley taking his place next to her on the nook.

Gathering around the desk and crowding on top of the steps, handfuls of classmates watched the scene play out in front of them. Lucas and Riley were a film and their friends acted like they were at the cinema as they scarfed down their snacks. And if this were a film the piano would play and I'd be waiting for the end credits to start. Through all this, I tried scribbling down notes and burying my head in the guest book to ignore them. Girls like Riley are always taken and since her best friend refused Lucas, Riley had her chance with Lucas again, no way she wouldn't get her happy ending.

Lucas was smooth.

He flashed her a smile and slipped his hand in hers hoping she'd squeeze his hand back. Back and forth Riley went from returning Lucas' smile and turning their joined hands over in her lap. I tapped my pencil to the beat of their conversation listening to him saying that he chose her and that he hoped Riley would choose him too. For extra proof of his feelings, Lucas pulled a bright red jewelry box and in it laid a purple jellybean. In return, she traded her leaf for it.

Here couples promised each other that they'd be their rock, go to dances together, or that whatever they did for themselves they would return the favor for the other. Then the boyfriend leaned forward sealing their couple status with a kiss; I'd groan and beg my sister if we could leave the theater. The audience would cheer and I'd hear gossip about them for the next three weeks. By then the newest couple would take their place reminding me that I never had a chance with Ri — whoever the girl was at the time.

Yet that's not what happened.

The scene changed and Riley rewrote the script.

She tucked her leg underneath her and took her hand out of Lucas.' She twirled her hair around her fingers. Her mouth dropped into a frown. Riley's voice cracked and she stumbled and stuttered for words. The guests leaned forward, my own neck ached as I craned over the desk to trying to catch what was being said. In a movie, the director pan his camera forward capturing the micro details of Riley's expression. I imagined her voice would be a whisper while her warm eyes collected tears. This time I wouldn't run from the theater; I'd wait for a moment with star of the show.

"I can't take you back, Lucas," she said.

Lucas mimicked Riley's frown. "Why not?"

"Because I want to be someone's first choice."

"What do you mean, Riles?s You are my first choice."

She shoved the jellybean back to Lucas. From the corner of my eye I saw Maya had frozen in place. I saw a couple other teens slam cash in a shorter girl's hand, smiling has she said statistics do not lie. "I knew that there was a probable chance that this would happen to Lucas and Bubbles." Josh and motioned forward by the door waiting to play the role of peacemaker, of the comforter. Riley got up — her cast no longer trapped her in place — and threw her arms down at her side.

"How am I your first choice when it's always the _blonde beauty _vs the _pretty brunette_?" Riley said. "Am I really your first choice when you say I'm too much for you?"

Lucas wrung his hands and sat hunched over, not bothering to look up at Riley.

I looked down at my notes, crumpled the page into a ball, and tossed it into the bin. I'd accidentally had drawn Riley.

"I just needed time," Lucas said. "I wanted to be certain, Riley."

"I'm sorry. I need time as well."

Similar to Maya before her, Riley left Lucas there but occasionally stopped in place and half-turned around like she wanted to run toward him and offer a hug. I couldn't go after her yet, and I didn't ask her friends how long I should wait before approaching her again. Besides, I doubt any of them would want to talk to each other for awhile now. Really until the bus arrived again, their group started dividing, becoming fractured among each other because of how their situation ended. Josh and Farkle comforted Lucas over losing two girlfriends, add the fact that the girls remained glued to each other as they kept their distance from them. Well, not about the double breakup or any rebound guy entering the picture. Plus, Lucas more than likely blamed me for ending his relationship, but after two years most girls would show doubt over him. Why would he be surprised Riley would do the same?

Minutes before the bus left, Mrs and Mr. Matthews came down from the upstairs and lugged the remaining luggage to the bus. They muttered to themselves how much they pitied Lucas for his losses, though they showed more sympathy toward the girls. They mentioned their slight disappointment that their daughter didn't get a fairy tale love like their romance. Mrs. Matthews added that Maya didn't get a prince charming either. Losses followed all three of them, none of them knowing how'd it affected later on.

"Hey, ," I said.

He turned toward me probably surprised that I'd call out to him. "Yes?"

"My mother says hello."

Mrs. Matthews glowered at me for a second gripping the bags tightly in her fists. She spun around, her hair whipping behind her and stormed out of the lodge.

"I'm never coming here again!" Mrs. Matthews said.

Mr. Matthews hurried out behind his wife, blaming nature as he did so. Mom was right, it was funny that Mrs. Matthews never let go of grudges; one would think that after twenty years Mrs. Matthews' resentment towards her triangle would have lessened.

As the nature club boarded the bus, my letter to Riley was finished. Sure, Riley and I connected last night but I doubted she'd accept a letter from any guy so shortly after they've broken up with her ex-boyfriend. Instead of risking her tearing it up, rejecting me, I tapped Maya's shoulder and asked Maya to give Riley my letter. Maya promised me she would deliver the letter but warned me not to expect much; she'd learn herself that Riley suppressed her feelings until someone forced her to admit them. What Maya learned from their triangle was, one, show thankfulness for her friend's sacrifices, and two, realize that Riley had needs of her own. So it was unlikely that Riley would return my own feelings in my letter.

Yet, despite what Maya said, I needed to try and my letter read:

_Riley,_

_This probably isn't a great time to send you this — an ideal time probably doesn't exist when someone's recently ended a relationship with another person — but I enjoyed spending this weekend with you. It's your choice, but I'd like it if we kept in touch once you're back in the city. I liked finding and inventing stars with you. I feel like I could tell you more secrets than just me becoming a Sherpa. I'd like something more with you but I can settle with being friends as long as I can stay in you life somehow. Say you'll at least consider writing or calling back._

_Your friend,_

_Evan_

_"__Words weren't made to tell this story__  
__For I can't describe the ache__  
__No remorse for your betrayal__  
__Yet though I find that hard to take__  
__How can beauty change unseen into a monster, I don't know__  
__Lost love is my hell__"_

—_ 'Sweet Curse', Revamp (Floor Jansen)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3: Farkle & Lucas**

_"...I maintain it is better to depict them as they really are than as we wish they would appear. To represent a bad thing in its least offensive light, is doubtless, the most agreeable course for a writer of fiction to pursue; but is it the most honest, or the safest? Is it better to reveal the snares and pitfalls of life to a young and thoughtless traveler, or to cover them with branches and flowers? O Reader! if there was less of this delicate concealment of facts-this whispering 'Peace, peace,' when there is no peace, there would be less of sin and misery to the young of both sexes who are left to wring their bitter knowledge from experience." - Anne Bronte, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall_

* * *

Waiting for the principal wasn't how I imagined I'd spend the afternoon crossing and uncrossing my legs in an uncomfortable seat with the heater cranked to the high setting. It's probably set high so the guilty students confessed their crimes faster. Secretaries gossiped outside the office over their clacking keyboards, the analog clock ticked the time away. I jerked my head around every time I heard the door opening. I wrung my hands until they cracked. Sweat dripped down my neck and my heart pounded trying to escape my chest. I'm not the one in trouble; all I did was cower behind a desk as Lucas trashed the classroom.

There are no escape routes. The heating vent's positioned too far above me to climb and it's not I could squeeze into that hole anyway. I'm not a hero, I cannot morph or shrink myself and scurry under the door. Outside Lucas expected me to bail him out of trouble. I'm not Riley; I wouldn't lie or take the blame for Lucas, and I'm not Maya, who'd have no qualms in angering the principal. Plus the school couldn't repair the damaged Lucas caused unless they knew the truth. The one good thing about this is that the principal wouldn't delay his decision, whereas Lucas baited everyone with his decision, all under the guise of "I don't want to hurt anyone." I don't know how hurt the girls are, but it was Lucas' own fault that he hurt himself the worst.

Mr. Donohue was tall, heavy and squeezed himself into the room needing to push himself between corners to make it to his desk. He reigned over the school behind his desk and I sunk lower into the rickety chair until I could barely see him over the edge. Why would he believe me? My gym coach ignored me when the class chose teams. The principal cleared space on his desk and flipped open a file with Lucas' photo and statistics next to his face. He clicked his pen, made circles in the air as he decided where to write the first red mark. Lucas' academic fate weighed on my shoulders. In a booming, bluesy voice, Mr. Donohue tried making small talk, tried assuring me that he only wanted my account about what "transpired" earlier today.

Because Lucas is my friend, wouldn't work, neither would the fact that Lucas hadn't intended to wreck that room. Impulse had never been a convincing argument to absolve anyone. And how much sympathy would Mr. Donohue show Lucas — or myself — for what happened? So many things snowballed out of control over the past month and could an outsider see how a breakup affected the six of us? Not just a broken triangle?

"Start at the beginning. You've nothing to worry about ."

I did.

* * *

October was a terrible time for a field trip but November had begun the epilogue for the ending. Zay and I had lost to Smackle over how the love triangle would in: Zay wagered that Lucas would choose Riley, I assumed Lucas would delay his choice another day, and Smackle took a third option that neither would occur. She reasoned that Maya and Riley would choose each other, "then he and I will go to Hawaii." I understand she tried to have normalcy return, but I wonder how long until Smackle'll realize her flirting bothered me. While Smackle wasn't certain how the breakup would happen, it still divided our group.

Smackle, Zay, and I banded together forming a new trio. Since we're dating, it was common sense that we'd stayed together, and as the mediator, Zay joined us. Riley and Maya were tidally locked together, sitting in the backs of rooms often leaving early before they were questioned about Lucas. I predicted as much because since the nature trip they skipped two days of school. Whether or not they were present the more malicious rumors floating around the school name the girls as "heart breakers" occasionally "whore" was included too. Logically, I know they're far from being those names, but couldn't they've waited longer before beginning their second breakup? One rejection is bad, but who had the capability of initiating a double breakup? Did Lucas really deserve this? With lines drawn that left Lucas isolated, unwilling to confide in us, and he invented every excuse to keep his distance.

Lucas distanced himself from Zay because he didn't want Zay to "blab his secrets to the football team." Zay's favorite currency was gossip, but he's Lucas' oldest friend, I'm sure he'd keep the Lodge details a secret. Lucas ignored Smackle to avoid her flirting and "offhanded comments" and ignored me because he didn't need to deal with my "gloating." Is warning Lucas that he'll ruin friendships through this triangle really gloating? Of course Lucas' said that he wanted to avoid Maya grabbing him and her country insults. I've no doubt that's part of it, but pride forced himself away from Maya; just like hopelessness forced him from Riley. While the girls broke up with him, I also wondered about how desperate a girl could be to believe breaking up was the best option. Especially from Riley who was the definition of determination and hope.

Lucas was tossed from a bull and survived Texas fights, surely he'd heal from this. Gym class reminded me that Lucas wouldn't be able to do this on his own.

Lucas sprinted the mile run, leaving our class panting to keep up, I willed myself not to puke in the trashcan nearby. He's built like a stone wall. He rang the bell at the top of the rope sliding off the rope where I would've crashed down. Lucas slammed down the barbells when he finished lifting weights. Lucas didn't even stop for water while the rest of us guzzled the liquid down.

It was time for Dodgeball.

Rubber balls bounced everywhere, they ricocheted off walls, hitting the losers. Half the boy's team arched backward, avoiding some balls to hit the floor instead. The opposing team — mixed of boys and girls — fled around the room or if they were lucky caught balls and aimed them at a new target. I was out of the game and limping to the bleachers before a minute was spent. On one side of the court had stood a handful of freshmen opposing Lucas on the other side.

They hadn't a chance.

Lucas' eyes zeroed in on them pinpointing the best target. Squeezing the ball in his fingers, bouncing it a couple of times, to an outsider Lucas looked distracted. He dripped with sweat; I could smell him from the top bleacher. His eyes narrowed into slits he wound up his arm behind him, I heard the crack of his joints. Zay and I tried distracting ourselves with a round of _Magic: the Gathering_ we tied 60 - 60, but like those on the court, we were shaking.

Lucas leaned back, jerked his head left and right, and aimed at the nerd in front of him. The guy fell backward, his glasses shattered to the floor. The return balls bounced back to Lucas who caught them effortlessly. Lucas armed himself with a ball in each hand throwing him out like they were detonated bombs. Maya wouldn't have been able to do that, and Zay wouldn't have been able to block that. The first ball collided with metal racks knocking spare balls to the ground. The other ball slowed and bounced off sophomores diving for protection, they were the two birds and Lucas was the stone. I grabbed my arm feeling the pain and bruises Lucas' victims would get.

Lucas dove and collected the balls the others threw at him. He tumbled, then they did the same. Soon the bleachers were filled with the class icing their injuries. Eventually, strong-as-a-bull Friar was the only one that remained on the court, his fists shaking at his side.

Coach's whistle screeched in the air as he waddled over to Lucas.

"Friar, that's enough! Hit the showers, you're out all day tomorrow."

Everyone either headed to the locker room or the nurse's office. In the locker room, as we finished in the showers, getting are things ready for the next class, I managed to get Lucas to explain why he'd lost control. He pointed to the calendar he stowed in his locker, circled on the date was the anniversary of his and Riley's first date. Zay and I shared a look and nodded, sharing the same thought: Dark Lucas could not come back.

History class went normally. Mr. Matthews glared at Lucas giving him the hardest questions to answer. How long would resent Lucas for, as he put it, "breaking his little girl's heart?" Both Maya and Riley ignored the notes Lucas sent to them. And by Algebra I was so confused, my notes consisted of this:

_X plus what gets Lucas and Riley together?_

_What minus T equals a happy ending for all of us?_

How many divisions did there have to be before they fell apart? Which variable was the wild card? Which one reversed the last two years of their problems? Most importantly, how did I factor into this?

Zay and I teamed up to solve this triangle trying to figure out with him the piece that would fix Lucas. We watched his copy of the notebook, borrowed his sisters' magazines, even asked my dad for advice. But dangling Lucas from a Ferris wheel was dangerous and all of the articles read that girls couldn't go wrong with makeup. Which how can a girl wear it without poking their eyes out? And Dad just said that girl loved diamonds, but I don't think Lucas could afford diamonds with his allowance.

That also didn't answer our other question: would Maya or Riley take Lucas back? Maya wanted action and once believed that Dark, Texas Lucas would give her that, but Lucas promised himself that he wouldn't revert back to that for anyone. Riley wanted romance mixed with adventure, but I don't think Dad would take them to Paris now. Each idea ended up in the trash with the other terrible ideas and discarded coffee cups at Topanga's bakery.

"How 'bout we ask the girls what they want. Worst they can do is say no, right?" I said.

Zay slapped my hand in a high-five. "Great! I'll talk to Maya, then we'll visit Riley."

Zay was always late for appointments and living in the same apartment complex as Maya wouldn't give him an excuse to be late for our meeting with Riley. Maya had been easier for Zay to handle, she took any excuse to mock Lucas so it didn't take much convincing to tell Zay her secret. Zay's retelling to me said that Maya admitted that her feelings for Josh hadn't wavered. She also decided to take his advice to date other boys in the meantime, before their "Someday" happened. Scattered between insults Maya said that she "doesn't want another Huckleberry" and vowed not to hurt Riley again. None of this surprised me, though her turning down tacos — Zay's bribe so she'd listen about Lucas' struggle — did.

So we had one option left in Riley, and I wouldn't have been able to approach her on my own. Riley's always hidden away. If she's happy, Riley would brag about another's happiness instead. If Riley's depressed, she'll hide it with a smile and promised us she'd rather not be a burden on us. In fact, any of her accomplishments, she'll bury away and pretend they hadn't happened. Despite the triangle ending, Zay and I needed to pressure Riley to tell the truth.

"Do you think we'll have a better chance with Riles?" I said.

We rode the elevator up to the Matthews' floor. Zay dug through his backpack, combing through homework, CDs, and candies.

"Tacos didn't work for Maya. Maybe it'll help that I brought her favorite candy." Zay said as he held out a bag of gummy bears and licorice. "She could be talking to Luke now and we won't have to do this."

Mrs. Matthews gratefully invited us inside, then told us we could go straight to her room. Riley flung open her bedroom door, greeting us with a grin and vice grip hugs. Still, there were bags underneath her eyes and she dragged her steps, turning down Zay's candy. We had caught her working on her new camera that "Angela gave me for my birthday last year." She scrolled through the photos of Zay sometimes reluctantly taking a piece of candy from him. Finally, she bowed her head, pieces of hair falling over her eyes.

"I thought you guys hated me," she said.

Zay wrapped his arm Riley. "We don't hate you. We want to understand why you broke up with Lucas."

Riley returned the hug, then rummaged through her dresser digging clothes and photos out. Once she found the photo she motioned us to join her on the bay window. Sandwiched between us, Riley gave Zay the photo with 16th July 2015 scrawled on the back. In the picture, the ocean reflected the setting sun casting shadows on ruined sandcastles, driftwood, and buried parents in the sand. Sea-foam crashed onto the shore trying to extinguish the bonfires. Multicolored flames burned in the background. I almost heard the music from that night. However, in the foreground, Lucas rushed to Riley's side. With his arms wrapped around her waist, he planted a kiss on Riley's cheek. Current Riley's smile was mix-matched compared to the one in her photo, not cheerful, but weighed down with the history of these past two years.

"I still love Lucas," Riley said. I offered her the picture when she started crying. She shoved it away. "But I want to love myself again."

How do you answer that? Neither Zay nor I could. For the rest of the day, we allowed Riley to beat us at Zombies in the Shower — she's actually got quite good at the game — but we still failed. Getting Lucas and Riley back together would've caused more harm than good. How do you tell your best friend that the girl he wants doesn't want him anymore? There were too many questions with no answers. Looking back, slipping that photo into Lucas' locker hadn't helped. I figured it would've given Lucas hope, something she lacked for weeks now. I'm not Riley though, so maybe if I revealed what she told us, Lucas' rage out wouldn't have destroyed a classroom. And it wasn't as if I didn't understand the girls' positions and how Lucas influenced their decisions. Maya's game playing annoyed Lucas, and after being ignored by him when Lucas refused Maya's bait, she would grow bored of him. While Riles' acceptance balanced Lucas' aggression; his indecision likely would have resulted in her breakdown. Adding a year of competition, I don't doubt had given Maya false hope — and she needed more hope not less — and made Riley more insecure - who hadn't much confidence, to begin with. Not knowing where that left Lucas bothered me.

Thanksgiving passed and it seemed Lucas was getting better. Sure he avoided Maya and Riley, but he joined our side of the fractured group. At the bakery, if the girls were with us, I'd see Lucas run outside in the opposite direction. He jogged past Riley's fire escape and opted instead to strike out at the batting range. Yet he smiled again and began volunteering in class. Perhaps he'd be Normal Lucas by Christmas.

Monday.

I didn't see Lucas until lunch period that day, when I did, he joked around and listed off football statistics. Earlier the coach told Lucas the considered taking him off the b-team on the football team. I played along since I can't run a single lap and he can pin someone twice his size against a wall. Zay had classes with Lucas for the rest of the day, so I wouldn't see him again until he waited outside the school so we ride home together. Lucas kept his optimism after the final bell bragging about. I don't remember what it was about now, but he seemed accepting over these weeks…

None of this lasted for long.

Abigail Adams' hallways thinned, gossip about parties left with the juniors invited. Others hurried to clubs and practices they were late for. Lucas and I turned the corners and leave for home. I promised I'd tutor him in business class, he promised he'd help me with weights. For a second, Lucas fixed his bag and that's when I saw them. I'm a genius, the odds were microscopic, that Riley would remain single. Eventually, both sides of the broken-up couple decided to date again, whether it be another person or the same person. Knowing Riley, she planned to meet her date when her peers abandoned the school. Witnesses could hurt others and Riles was the type who took every opportunity to lessen another's pain if that meant evaded situations she would do it. But why Evan? And when did he come down to the city?

"You're asking me out on another date?" Riley said, twisting around, biting her lip as she did so.

"Of course," Evan replied.

"Then it's a date."

I spun around and pushed Lucas the other way, or I tried, Lucas is built like a bull after all. Lucas chuckled flashing that perfect smile that made class president or kids like him. His heels dug into the floor. Ten extra minutes to leave through the back door was worth it if I stopped Lucas from going forward. I gripped his shoulders and stared him straight in the eye. I used my debating voices, low, almost condescending, to reach Lucas.

"Let's go the other way. _I Know What You Did Last Winter_ is playing, I'll buy extra popcorn." I said.

"What don't you want me to see?"

"The plan is to protect the red wrecking ball from Texas Lucas."

"Why are you worried about that? Since when are wreaking balls—"

He laughed, brushed my hands away and walked around the corner.

I remembered slapping my face and massaging my eyes. Lucas shoved bullies to protect Zay and me. He broke kitchen counters and through a window when he discovered Riley was bullied and kept it a secret. He offered to turn dark whenever she wanted and dealt with her best friend's slights for Riley's benefit. I'm surprised he didn't punch Charlie when he asked her out last year. What would Lucas do when another guy decided to move on to Riley?

" —Red."

Evan tucked Riley's hair behind her ear; her smile brightened her whole face when he took her hand in his. Lucas' arms fell rigid at his sides, his legs locked in place, he gritted his teeth and clenched his fingers. I tugged at his arm, pulling it to lead him away from this scene. Lucas sucked in his breath, as did I while Evan performed his next move, and I've seen enough romance films with Smackle what his move would be. Evan leaned toward Riley, tilting her chin up to the level of his. I sidestepped in front of Lucas and shoved him by his chest. (Of course, he'd be made of chiseled rock.) Evan's gaze dropped to her lips then cradled her face in his hands. (Like what Riley had done during her first date with Lucas.) Colour fled from Lucas' own face. I gave up on moving Lucas and leaned against the wall, Riles can't discover that Lucas and I saw her.

Finally, Evan kissed her.

Eavesdropping on them slapped Lucas in the face but seeing his former girlfriend kiss another, was a suckerpunch to his gut.

Personally, I'm not sure which was stronger: Riley and Maya finding happiness with the triangle resolved. And I'm sure the kiss was innocent compared to the advanced making out I've witnessed from seniors. Yet, Lucas' pain at the kiss and the triangle's resolution was unexpected. Would Lucas charge at them? Would I become a victim of Lucas' violence? My advanced classes don't teach self-defense or anger management for these situations. Any Texas Lucas solutions I had were dwindling.

Lucas turned around and slumped down against the lockers, his shoulders hunched over with his chin bowed into his chest. I haven't seen him this dejected when Maya said she wouldn't stop making fun of him. I mean it's not like this was Riley's fault. Knowing Mr. Matthews, I doubt he'd allow her to kiss anyone; the school was the safest place for that. I crossed my arms and rocked back and forth, keeping watch that no one found Lucas like this.

If a calm Riley scared Maya; a shattered Lucas would be terrifying. There are no warning signs when New York Lucas transformed into Texas Lucas, one could only improvise when it happened.

I clapped Lucas' back, mentally searching for something to comfort him, but nothing came.

"We can still leave," I said.

"There are other guys in high school besides us," Lucas spoke slow and low. I nodded when he said this. "You're a genius, Farkle. Did I have a chance with Riley?"

Lucas expected honesty from me, in fact out of our whole group, I was the only one to keep Lucas' aggression in check. The other four seemed content just to wave his past away._ "I told you someone would wind up hurt"_ was tactless, and I learned from the New Years' Eve incident that blurting the truth harmed us rather than helped us. Instead, I extended my arm out to him, groaning as I pulled Lucas to his feet. His hand crushed mine when I took it.

"What are you gonna do now?" I said.

Lucas peered into different classrooms as I jogged through the hallways and up all three flights of stairs with him. It was two-thirty and Lucas remained silent while I sweated at it. Since then, I've concluded that no one deserved the blame here, and if two-thirds of the triangle could heal, Lucas could too.

Maya would regain her humor and fire.

Riley's heart and intuition returned already.

And Lucas would find resilience from all this.

Unfortunately, Lucas found an empty classroom instead.

Lucas rammed himself into the door to loosen its hinges, his weight forced him forward and he tumbled into the back wall. Posters lined the wall, midterm reminders were scrawled across the blackboard. Branches banged against the window panes just as Lucas pounded on the teacher's desk. Lucas was a vulture as he circled the classroom and his breathing became panting. Lucas smirked to himself, his eyes darkened and froze over. People talk of seeing red when they're enraged, perhaps they actually see black and nothing else. Lucas dropkicked his backpack, sending it hurtling across the room where it rained assignments and textbooks everywhere. An itch crawled down my flesh, my mouth twitched. Breaking a countertop, barging through a barricade, a couple of shoved bullies against the walls were child's play. Texas Lucas had a Jekyll-Hyde persona of its own. Hurricane Lucas arrived and I was stuck in his storm.

My teeth chattered, my feet were glued to the floor and I felt my legs wobble. A lump grew in my throat as Lucas chose his first victim to unleash his rage on. He spat out curses aimed at himself, that he "f —ed up his chances with Riley" that this was his fault the triangle ended the way it did.

The desk was his first victim when he yanked the drawers out and shook loose the contents in it. Staplers, calculators, confiscated cell phones clattered broken to the ground. He upturned the chair, now a corpse lying on its side. I lost count at how often Lucas grunted and growled as he paced the room. The walls were Lucas' next victims where photo frames thumped against the walls with each thud of his fists.

"C-come on Lucas…The wall is b-bleeding and your knuckles are c-cracked."

I'm a genius, my words are supposed to make sense. I'm supposed to have the answers for my friends and I can't even speak coherently now. How am I going to get Lucas to listen to reason? If Riley was ruled by her head and Maya chose her heart, what dominated Lucas now?

Hurricane Lucas left rubble in his path: A globe broke when he had thrown it against the window, student desks were dominoes as Lucas knocked them over. Scissors were tossed like knives, one pair grazed my ear before I dodged them. Unknown objects screeched on the chalkboard, glass cracked under the stress of Lucas' attack. I dove behind a cupboard and hunkered down to protect myself from flying boxes, rulers, and shards. With this version of Lucas our football team, no rival team would be victorious against John Addams High. If his Texas fight was as brutal as this moment, I'm glad I befriended New York Lucas — that kid was likely hospitalized.

I'm sure it wasn't an hour that passed by, but Lucas' rampage stopped time. Lucas upturned the teacher's desk, their belongings, grades, apples scattered everywhere. He stomped around, scuffing the tiled floor and broke their teaching degree with a single punch. Winds whipped around outside, thunder roared as if it were cymbals being banged against each other. A few times, Lucas headbutted the blocked back door, leaving dents in the wood and bruises on his face.

If I couldn't stop him, who could? Maya was the second strongest in our group, but being the shortest meant that Lucas was capable of pulverizing her. If Riley waltzed into this classroom, I've no doubt Lucas would have froze in his tracks horrified that Riley observed his violent outburst. Zay and I were unable to tie our cowboy friend to a counter; there was nothing here able to restrain Lucas. Lastly, it would've taken too long for Smackle to invent a restraint for Lucas, plus he would have destroyed her invention at her first attempt to use.

I flinched. My eyes bulged. An adult was a match for Lucas though. Janitor Harley Kleiner possessed the strength to stop Lucas.

I picked my phone from my pocket, peering past the cupboard to make sure Lucas continued ignoring me. I opened my contacts folder, sliding through the names until I reached the man with a Greaser biker appearance, and pressed the call button. Cupping my phone in my hand, I whispered to Harley to rush to the third floor, that Lucas was _"outta control and turning the classroom into a wasteland"_ and had to hurry.

My heart drummed in my chest as I waited. My heaving breath kept time with Lucas.' I pulled my knees to my chest as Lucas rocked on his heels, scanning the room. Inside I begged that Lucas wouldn't pinpoint me as his next target and pummel me to a pulp. He kicked his bag again with little in it there wasn't much spilling out. The photo of him and Riley floated out of the bag's pocket and landed at my feet. I picked it up, the day Riley showed it to Zay and me, she was despondent; today if Lucas saw this picture again, his rage would've worsened.

Finally, Lucas' storm dwindled into a drizzle becoming the rain Riley had once thought she and Lucas were. He plopped down in the center of the room surrounded by debris he created. Janitor Harley barged into the room, hedging around Lucas and looking for an opening to approach Lucas. Harley's arms were stretched to the sides as if he were trying to keep balanced, the mop in his hands didn't help much with that.

"You okay, kid?" Harley said, helping me up. Lucas gazed bored into the floor, refusing to look me in the eye.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said. "I guess you're sending us to the principal's office next. Right?"

"Sorry pipsqueak, I have to. Else, how am I gonna get this place cleaned?"

"Let's go then," My voice stayed numb. "Might as well get it over with."

* * *

"Thank you, Mr. Minkus, I'll consider your story in my decision." Mr. Donohue said. He waved me out of his office and said, "Will you tell Mr. Friar that he can come into my office now?"

Rumors were wildfire as information surrounding Lucas rampage had spread throughout the school. Lucas' infamy skyrocketed, half of the girls in our year wanted to date Lucas; half the planned ways to avoid him. When the final bell rang, I found Lucas emptying his locker supplies into his book bag as he grumbled to himself. He wasn't red anymore, perhaps wrecking the classroom calmed him down. But I didn't know if he would welcome me with a punch because I tattled to Mr. Donohue. Then again, if anyone approached Lucas, I might as well since I saw his outburst myself. I swallowed my breath, and my fear, and asked him what the principal told him.

"He suspended me for two weeks. Guess I should be lucky I wasn't expelled," he said.

"You would've been expelled if I didn't find a way to stop you." Lucas slammed his locker shut. "I gotta go. I'm already grounded for a month and got shouting match from Dad."

The remainder of the week continues without incident, destruction, or threats. Janitor Harley complained about how Lucas increased his work overload, neither was the teacher who used the room because their class was transferred until repairs were finished. According to the principal, Lucas was responsible for "covering the cost of the damages" and served him with a month of detention when he returned to school.

As for our families, our parents debated on whether or not they should allow us to remain friends with the Friars. A vandalized classroom, an old Texas fight, these actions might lead to physical violence against his friends. The girls blamed themselves, arguing that if they hadn't broken up with Lucas, he wouldn't have acted the way he did. I constantly apologized for being unable to stop him. I could have warned Riley I but didn't. I could have blocked Lucas when he threw shelves down, but I didn't. Zay's joking hadn't calmed us down and his past with Lucas didn't offer any more answers. With everyone so divided over this, how did Lucas feel? Probably worse.

That whole week Lucas' teachers hunted me down, asking if I'd take his assignments to him; when Mr. Matthews asked for the same favor I agreed to him too. Carrying the extra weight of Lucas' assignments along with my own made the five blocks to his apartment was the problem. Because the complex's elevator was broken; it took a half-hour longer to make it to the Friar's apartment. Mr. Friar readily invited me in but I turned down staying for dinner. Mom and Dad weren't sure if Lucas was "good influence" on me and wanted me to be cautious. It would be easier to drop Lucas' books off in his bedroom anyway, which is where I headed.

Nothing in Lucas' bedroom was visible, not his boxing posters, debate notes or softball equipment. Slivers of sunlight filtered through the window blinds, but not enough light to brighten the room. Clothes, letters, comics were flung on the floor, his room was clean compared to the classroom. From the doorway, I spotted no place to put his homework down. Messes wouldn't have bothered me if it weren't for the background sounds.

Looped in the background was the mixtape Riley had made for him, the current song focused on _Death Cab for Cutie_. Hiccuping with choking gasps mixed with the music and the blob on the bed heaving up and down. Sniffling came next, followed by silent whimpers.

A six-foot giant crying, I hadn't expected.

Lucas prided himself on being the stoic cowboy who hated sharing personal moments in public. He explained such when he told me he disliked Maya and I interrupting his date with Riley. I can't imagine Lucas would've appreciated his best friend, hearing him cry in the doorway.

Mrs. Friar - a woman who time traveled from the 1970s to modern-day in bell bottoms and bright colors - tiptoed past me and placed a hot cup of tea on the bedside table. Gently, she sat on the edge of the bed, stroking blonde bits of hair that peeked from under the covers humming a lullaby I couldn't decipher. Lucas' books grew heavier on my arms and stretched them down. Which was more uncomfortable: his books or sobs that echoed in my ears. _You can get through this, tears have a scientific origin after all. One's brain sends signals when your body's __stressed__. Eventually, the lachrymal glands in the eyes overflow and thickened tears run down one's face._ I checked my wristwatch repeatedly. 4:30. I whispered for Mrs. Friar to come out into the hall.

Mrs. Friar's head jerked up and held up a finger to give her an extra moment with her son. Quietly, she kissed Lucas' forehead and suggested that he should sleep. She led me into the living room, took the books from me, and reminded me that I was a good friend. If I was a good friend then I could have stopped him from getting suspended. Instead, I asked if Lucas has ever been like this before.

She nodded. "When my father died, Lucas wouldn't leave his bed. Mr. Friar joked that Lucas would flood the house by crying."

I rubbed the back of my neck. The girls had moved on yet Lucas was in pieces. None of my calculations added up to this possibility. How long before Lucas finished grieving. Mrs. Friar led me to the door and hoped I arrived home safely.

"I've already spoken to Katy and Topanga that Lucas won't act out again. Would you tell your parents, my husband and I don't blame them for being upset?" Mrs. Friar said.

I nodded and left for home.

Detention consisted of Harley ordering Lucas through the halls sweeping soot, mopping puke and sweat clean, and scrubbing the mold from globs of cafeteria food. After each session, I cringed at the bleach that clung to Lucas like cologne. Asking him to hang out with the gang was useless since he rejected my offers. Our group was split into two now: a group of five versus a group of one with Lucas as the only member. Cory relocated Lucas to the back of the classroom where he drowned out the lessons with his headphones he snuck in. During subway rides home, Lucas and I spent them in silence,the same happened when we blew away zombies while we played video games.

December looked as depressing as November.

Sweets, coffee, cocoa, and remorse couldn't coax Lucas back to normal. Offers from the girls to date him again hadn't tempted Lucas. Easing Lucas into our fold a person at a time hadn't worked. I counted ourselves lucky that Lucas' rage wasn't an actual fight.

However, one night when I walked Smackle home, Lucas rang me asking if I'd meet him on top of the rooftop of my family's penthouse. I ran up the steps into the cold and found Lucas kicking at the brick ledge. Earlier he spied all of us in the bakery claiming he didn't want to interrupt our fun time studying.

"It would've been better if you were there. It'd be better than becoming a recluse."

"And risk freaking out again? I don't remember much about what happened that day but if I scared you…I'm letting anyone else see me like that."

"They don't know the details. Just that a window was your only victim."

Lucas stuffed his hands into his pockets and leaned against the ledge, I copied him. With the skyline behind us, my friend's face appeared blank and I wondered if he was listening to me for once?

"This would've happened anyway. Odds are that one of you three would've gotten tired of waiting around. But numbers couldn't have predicted you'd lose both of them." I said. "Accepting breakups is the only way you'll feel better."

He shrugged his shoulders. "How?"

"You can start by joining us for lunch tomorrow."

"You sure you want me there?"

I smiled and pushed him forward to go inside. He probably needed a break from all these lectures.

After myself, Zay was the first friend that Lucas trusted again often meeting at the batting range or after school. A few days later, Lucas allowed Smackle around him as well laughing at her attempts to flirt with him. (I still haven't figured out how to tell her I don't like that.) Another month passed before Lucas sat behind Maya or crawl through Riley's window. By summer, Lucas agreed to group date with myself and Smackle, with Evan and Riley. Maybe Lucas could find happiness with a new girl, but when you see how Lucas looked at Riley on our dates…

And they may not be Cory and Topanga. They aren't Shawn and Angela. But one can't help but hope that Riley and Lucas would have worked out.


End file.
